I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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