Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My hand turned me down
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
