Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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