This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
