hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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