Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
