I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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