even my farts smell like vagina
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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