benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
