she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
