i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize