I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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