so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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