didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
