Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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