i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
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We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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