Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize