Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Four minutes until I can fart!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I would fuck him just for his dog
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
