1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize