Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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