I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
