they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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