This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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