You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
