Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
