I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
