If i come over, it means nothing
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
