i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
