If i come over, it means nothing
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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