I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
