What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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