that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
