dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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