Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
