Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
