omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
