i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
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only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
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I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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