We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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