Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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