I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
