i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
