There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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