I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
