Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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