lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
