Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
