Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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