wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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