So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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