I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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