glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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