So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
