it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
