belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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