I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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