My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
