Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
